Security Briefs

Are you afraid of the family jewels being taken from the safe? Put them where no burglar has gone before, a pair of skid marked underpants. Now you see the genius of the Security Briefs, anti-theft protection masquerading as your dirty tighty whiteys. Not even the most hardened criminals have the balls to rifle through dirty under garments. How to use your Security Briefs: Open up the Velcro slot in the crotch region and hide your wallet or your Rolex inside. Even great for keeping your wedding ring safe. (Despite widespread Internet rumors, these underpants are not from BaronBob's private collection.) - Not meant for wearing, but if you really want to, the size is probably between a S and M men's underwear. - 100% Cotton. - No Batteries necessary or included.