Warning: you've
never read a book like this before.
Instant New
York Times Bestseller!!
The
Alphabet of Manliness
is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged son of a bitch out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to buy a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted, or busting balls.
If you can’t handle the punch to the colon I’m about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you’ll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.
The
Alphabet of Manliness consists of 26 short sections, each corresponding to a letter of the
alphabet:
* A - Ass-Kicking
* B - Boners
* C - Copping a Feel
* D - Taking a Dump
* E - Enlightenment (Inventions)
* F - Female Wrestling
* G - Gas (Flatulence)
* H - Hot Sauce
* I - Irate
* J - Jerky, Beef
* K - Knockers (Breasts)
* L - Lumberjack
* M - Metal (Music)
* N - Norris, Chuck
* O - Obedience
* P - Pirates
* Q - Quickies
* R - Road Rage
* S - Sneaking A Peek
* T - Taunting
* U - Urinal Etiquette
* V - Violence
* W - Winner
* X - XXX (Pornography)
* Y - Yelling
* Z - Zombies
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved:
The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the
ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Shit jokes
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* Tit punching
* The triumph of flannel over good taste
What People Are Saying About
the Author Maddox:
“I didn’t raise you like this. Why are you like this? Your father’s not like this either. This is terrible.” —Maddox’s mom
“Hey, I just wanted to say that I think you’re a really big asshole. Keep up the good work.” —Eric
“I think you’re a terrible person and I hope you get some psychiatric help. Go to hell.” —Carolyn
Maddox is a 27-year-old native Utahn, and the visionary author of The Best Page in the Universe website. Once a lowly programmer for a telemarketing company, he now stands as a specimen of sheer masculinity and chiseled good looks.
If you are a real
man, you must own this book!!
Author:
Maddox/ Hardcover: 204 pages / $15.95 Sale Price:
$12.00
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