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Cookin'
So Good, Folks Will Be Turnin' Off The Wrestlin' Channel Just To
Come 'N' Get It!
Dear Friends,
As a well-known temptress of song, beautician extraordinaire,
and confidante to the jet set, I have eaten in all kinds of
places. Now maybe this down home, trailer park gal is just
spoiled when it comes to food but, have mercy, some of that
stuff I wouldn't have fed to my cousin Earl's three-legged dog,
Speedy. There are three things that we trailer park women are
good at: holdin' our liquor, jackin' our hair to the heavens,
and cookin'. But we here at the High Chaparral Trailer Park in
Pangburn, Arkansas, have sinned, holdin' onto our best recipes
tighter than a televangelist's hands on a widow's checkbook.
Well, no more! Startin' right here on these pages, we are
throwin' open the wood-paneled vaults and sharing more than 100
of our most delicious and cheap recipes with you, everything
from appetizers, beverages, and entrees, to the Holy Trinity of
trailer park cuisine—cookies, cakes, and icing. Grab a
spatula, and fill up on such tasty creations as:
- Kitty Chitwood's Slut Puppies—Deep-fried and delicious.
And the leftovers can be spray-painted for darlin' Christmas
tree ornaments later.
- Lois Bunch's Chili Con Queso—You don't have to make this
with government cheese, but it sure tastes better if you do.
- Anita Biggon's El Diablo Dip-O—Do not try to operate
heavy machinery after a few bites of this stuff!
- Sister Bertha's Old Rugged Cross Cake—The official cake
of the First Baptist Church of Pangburn, Arkansas.
- Ruby Ann Boxcar's Fantastically Flawless Fantasy
Fudge—Please don't send me letters tellin' me how good
this is 'cause I already know.
- Juanita Hix's Sloppy Sloppy Joes—You might want to cover
the table with a trash bag before eatin' these.
Along with good food, I'll also be serving up a generous side
of trailer park dish—from the goin's on at the Big Balls
Bowling Alley to the Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray Bar and of
course, the First Baptist Church of Pangburn. Food, sex,
gossip—honey, this thing's more loaded than my Me-Ma on a
Saturday night! What are you waitin' for? Get out that deep
fryer and get cookin'—trailer park style!
Happy Eatin'!
Ruby Ann Boxcar
Ruby Ann Boxcar, beautician, international entertainer
and singer, and syndicated columnist, lives with her husband Dew
and their three dogs in a two-story double-wide pink trailer
home at the High Chaparral Trailer Park in Pangburn, Arkansas.
Dr. Pepper Salad
If I hadn’t shown up when I did, Connie would’ve had
Dew sign us up to be Amway distributors just so he could get a
servin’ of this dish.
2 cans Dr. Pepper
1 large package cherry JELL-O
½ cup maraschino cherries (chopped)
1 small package cream cheese
In a pan heat up 1 can of Dr. Pepper over medium heat. When
it gets hot, add JELL-O to the soda. In a small bowl stir the
cherries and cream cheese together. Add it to the hot JELL-O/
Dr. Pepper mixture and stir well. Add the other can of Dr.
Pepper, pour into a mold, and refrigerate until firm.
Author: Ruby
Ann Boxcar / Paper Back / $15.95 Sale Price:
$13.95
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